i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman:

So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”.  The teacher said “so you’re adopted”.  THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.  

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queen-of-fallen-angels:

my-flourish-and-blotts:

teacupsandcyanide:

I remember all the Doctor Who fanfics I used to read where Rose often got badly stereotyped as a damsel in distress whom the Doctor had to swoop in and save and smooch but the way I remember Doctor Who 90% of their relationship was the Doctor just setting Rose loose on people who had done something to offend them and sitting back giggling in the corner as she shouted

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setting Rose loose

Accuracy: 100%

apple-saucy:

spookynez:

chaosprancing:

superwholockgarfield:

morgrana:

OMG so I just figured out the word “hurt”

it’s past, present and future

you will be hurt

you are hurt

you were hurt

BECAUSE IF SOMETHING TRULY HURT, IT NEVER REALLY STOPS

you poetic little shit

it’s because… it’s an adjective… …

you will be stupid

you are stupid

you were stupid

BECAUSE IF SOMEONE IS TRULY STUPID, THEY NEVER REALLY STOP

thatnerdygamergirl:

elijahkrantz:

when guys are like “Hillary Clinton cant run for president her period will mess things up” first of all what a ridiculous statement second of all SHE IS 66 YEARS OLD DO YOU HAVE ANY KNOWLEDGE OF THE FEMALE ANATOMY YOU BUFOON

No they don’t. Where would they learn that? Not in school.

charlesoberonn:

rooster-tale:

mosquii:

mosquii:

mosquii:

hey could you pass me one of those snoods

liSTEn hERE THI S HAS GON E ON FAR TOO LONG THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO BE KNOWN FOR I WANTED TO GO FAR IN LIFE BUT NO I’M STUCK HERE WITH OVER 29 THOUSAND PEOPLE AND NO FUCKING SNOODS THIS IS NOT THE LEGACY I SIGNED UP FOR

ENOUgh

OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THE SNOOD S

I believe it’s spelled SNOOdS

charlesoberonn:

rooster-tale:

mosquii:

mosquii:

mosquii:

hey could you pass me one of those snoods

liSTEn hERE THI S HAS GON E ON FAR TOO LONG THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO BE KNOWN FOR I WANTED TO GO FAR IN LIFE BUT NO I’M STUCK HERE WITH OVER 29 THOUSAND PEOPLE AND NO FUCKING SNOODS THIS IS NOT THE LEGACY I SIGNED UP FOR

ENOUgh

OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THE SNOOD S

I believe it’s spelled SNOOdS

unabating:

-angel:

“I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.”

this quote reads like an excerpt from an 18th century novel and it’s from fucking spongebob

unabating:

-angel:

I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.”

this quote reads like an excerpt from an 18th century novel and it’s from fucking spongebob

consulting-cannibal:

so the thing that surprised me most in the itunes promo was the “sammy let me go” note

like he’s a demon now so i expected him to leave something way more immature than that—i thought it’d be something like

and sam being like “……………..he’s fucking alive”

socialjusticeprincesses:

fat-lasts-longer-than-flavor:

cuadradonegro:

obscurewings:

I made a political cartoon for English class about issues in school
It focuses on how teens are expected to make career defining choices with barely any experience, and also how parents often take so much authority that their child’s decision is not actually their own
If this gets some notes then I’ll make a colored version

thank fucking you. this defines me a few years ago really accurately

this

story time! At college some of us were talking about tattoos we want. Our teacher said “you don’t want to get a tattoo at eighteen because you might change your mind.” I said “I had to decide my entire career path when I was fourteen when I chose my GCSEs. I think I can decide on a bird on my wrist at eighteen.”
~ Mulan

socialjusticeprincesses:

fat-lasts-longer-than-flavor:

cuadradonegro:

obscurewings:

I made a political cartoon for English class about issues in school

It focuses on how teens are expected to make career defining choices with barely any experience, and also how parents often take so much authority that their child’s decision is not actually their own

If this gets some notes then I’ll make a colored version

thank fucking you. this defines me a few years ago really accurately

this

story time! At college some of us were talking about tattoos we want. Our teacher said “you don’t want to get a tattoo at eighteen because you might change your mind.” I said “I had to decide my entire career path when I was fourteen when I chose my GCSEs. I think I can decide on a bird on my wrist at eighteen.”

~ Mulan